Etiquette with older dogs (and their owners!)

(Versão portuguesa abaixo)

I have been through this with my first dog, and over the last few months with a severely ill dog. Seeing this article a few days after his death, and upon the comments I heard from strangers as my dog was getting worse by the day, it touched a sensitive nerve.

I think this is an article everyone should read!

Reprinted with permission from The Bark

Be Gentle: I know my dog is old

A call for improving our etiquette with older dogs.

By Susan Seligson

Like everyone else in a society loudly lamenting a decline in civility, I recognize there are new breaches of etiquette every minute. On any typical day, cell phones alone account for the rudeness factor going off the charts.

But I believe there is one type of impolite behavior among adult humans that goes pretty much unchecked. I’ve been guilty of it myself and slinked away feeling really stupid. It just isn’t something that makes it into the etiquette books and it apparently isn’t even worth Miss Manners’ fleeting consideration.

I am referring to the blunt, utterly uncensored and often just plain mean things people say to us about our dogs (by “us” I mean dog people). My close friend Pam has a 12-yearold German Shepherd who is visibly aging. So are the rest of us, human and canine, but to what person would you ever be so crude as to say the following: “Is that your mother? Wow, she looks awful. She can hardly move!” Yet this is the unsolicited blubbering my friend endures from strangers, all day long, about her old dog. I empathize because I’ve been through this three times, beginning with our family Beagle, Sam, who lived to be nearly 17, mostly out of spite.

“How old is he?” People would ask this unrelentingly about my now-departed Irish Setter, Amos. I didn’t mind telling them that he was 12 or 13. “Wow. They don’t live much longer than that, do they?” How tacky is this?

But it gets worse. When my big, hairy mutt, Louie (we called him our “Bavarian crotch-smeller”) was old and frail, someone once asked me, “Have you thought about putting him down?” First of all, that’s kind of like asking a woman in her 40s (this also happened to me), “Have you ever thought about having children?” “Gee, there’s an idea! Why didn’t I think of that?” When your dog is old and sick, the end is pretty much all you can think about. Your heart is breaking and you’re preparing yourself to come to that decision in a way that spares your dog unnecessary suffering while giving yourself time to feel as peaceful as possible about letting him go.

People assume they can say anything they like about a stranger’s dog. While they’d (I hope) refrain from saying, “Excuse me, but it looks like your husband is losing his hair,” when Louie was suffering from Cushing’s disease, strangers constantly took it upon themselves to point out his hair loss. “Do you know your dog is losing his hair?” And what can you do except mumble, um, yes, this is my dog, he’s part of my family, I’m nearly always with him, I bathe him, I brush him, he sleeps with us, and throughout most, if not all, of these activities, I am looking at him! And it’s always too late when you think of how you could’ve said, “Do you know you have a wart on your chin?”

Pam is at the point where she dreads walking her dog in public because she knows passersby will make insensitive comments she can’t bear to hear. Out in the world she is thoughtful and tender enough not to remind everyone she encounters that they are mortal. Like the rest of us, she can tell when a person’s on his or her last legs, but she keeps herself from saying, “Gee, you sure are slowing down” or asking the person’s daughter, “So how long do people in your family tend to live?” When approaching people like my friend, it helps to remind oneself that she knows her dog is old. She knows it every waking second of every day.

The last years and months we share with our geriatric dogs are among the most bittersweet times in dog lovers’ lives. We know, from the moment we choose these guys as puppies or meet their limpid stares at the animal shelter, that our hearts will be torn apart some day. What makes it so much worse is that the older they get, the sweeter they get, and when they reach absolute critical sweetness—you simply cannot love them any more than you already do—they grow completely exhausted and die. So a person patiently coaxing an old dog on his increasingly shrinking route is someone who could benefit from a little compassionate restraint. Like a simple hello for the owner, or a tender pat on the head for the doggie emeritus.

A puppy for Christmas?

(Versão portuguesa abaixo)

(This article was originally published, slightly modified, in the Portuguese pet magazine Cães e Companhia nº 175, December 2011)

Christmas is traditionally a time of peace, joy and… puppies as gifts?

Is it a good idea to offer a living being in festive times, especially when it is a surprise to the receiver? This text overviews some of the questions about getting a puppy, maybe from a somewhat less-than-common point of view.

There are breeders and then there are breeders!

We all acknowledge that doctors are not all alike; some are better and more efficient at their work than others. We also know there are good and bad mechanics, plumbers that know their work and others just “fix holes”, etc. However, in the popular mind dog breeders seem to be a “one-size-fits-all” issue. There is a tendency to think that they all want to breed as many animals as they can as cheaply as possible in order to maximize profit throughout the lives of the poor bitches. But those who breed dogs do so for a variety of reasons, which will without a doubt affect the final result.

Unquestionably there are breeders that indeed breed with the clear objective of making money, who seek to maximize the breeding life of their animals (regardless of their health, genetics or quality) and the lowest cost, so as to maximize their profit. They are breeders who do not care about the final destiny of their puppies, as long as they are sold, and who benefit the maximum from impulse buying – such as the cute little puppy as a shopping mall’s pet shop window -, preventing the potential buyer from seeing the puppies and the rest of their dogs in their usual environment. They’re the so-called “puppy mills”. In Portugal they are a minority, but the most common source from pet store puppies.

Most dogs come from “plain” people who own a breeding-age bitch, people who, although not necessarily seeking a profit, breed for a wide variety of reasons (excuses?) – because they want a puppy from their pretty bitch, because the idea that all females should have at least one litter in their life (or all males should mate at least one) still runs deep, because they have a purebred and as such they must breed it, if for nothing else then to “recover” the money they invested in her, because children should see the “miracle of birth”, because they did not control their bitch in heat and she got pregnant, etc., etc. These are normally well-meaning people, or quite on the contrary people with no care whatsoever for the reproductive management of their unsprayed females, who just get a female and a male together, with no real concern about what they are breeding or the fate or health of the puppies that are born, as long as they go to people “who promise to love them”. The puppies are often given or sold at a low price, just after weaning, while they’re still in the “cute” stage, without health care (vaccines, worming) so no money is spent on them. These breeders are usually called “backyard breeders”.

Finally, there’s also the true Breeders, those who are indeed worthy of that name, with a capital “B” – those who breed will a well defined goal, who care about improving their breed’s morphological and functional traits, who strive to reduce the occurrence of health, genetic and/or behavioral problems in the breed. They seek to learn as much as possible about their breed and specimens, looking for the best possible match to achieve their goals, even if that means using animals other than their own. Before they breed they try to assess the quality of their dogs, they do health and genetic screening to reduce the risk of transmission of problems to the progeny, they manage the breeding life of their females, respecting rest periods between litters and plan each litter beforehand. And they are people who screen potential owners for one of their puppies, in order to assess if they are a match to the breed and personality of each bred animal (and will refuse a sale if necessary), who try to follow up on the development of each dog in their new home and are available for additional support at anytime, up to, if necessary, repossessing or helping to re-home any dog they bred at any stage of their life. They may be a minority in the sea of dog producers, but these breeders are the main focus of this text.

How much does a puppy cost?

This is the most common a breeder hears. It is often the only question a breeder hears. It is a natural question, and is indeed an issue to consider when pondering getting a dog. But is it the only one? Or is it actually the most important one?

When you want to get a new car, you don’t go into the first dealer you see and say to the salesperson “I want a blue car. How much does it cost?” - do you? First you decide on the type of vehicle you need, compare the technical traits of several brands of cars within the range you want, and only after you have a notion of what you need will you compare prices in several dealers for the makes and models you pre-selected, right? However, when they intend to acquire a living being that will be a full part of their life for 10 to 15 years, most people just seem to care about the price, without seeking to know the animal’s “technical traits”. Just as breeders are not all alike, the potential of each puppy, and the care he received, varies.

At the several freed ads websites, it is common to find puppies on sale for ridiculously low prices. When you ask a serious breeder the cost of a puppy of the same breed, you will get a much higher price. Why the difference? Is there a reason to buy a more expensive puppy when you can find cheaper ones? Yes! And the reasons run on the short and on the long range. Adequately raising a puppy, in order to give him the best possible start in life, is not cheap. You need to think of high quality food, adequate for the mother’s and puppies’ physiological state, supplementation (vitamins, minerals) when needed, regular and frequent worming to each of the puppies and their mother, vaccination, toys for physical and mental stimulation… and that’s not considering the time the breeder spends making sure the whelping goes for the best, the puppies nurse adequately, socializing them and getting them used to future situations they may encounter later in life, etc.

Of course you can easily find here several ways to save money and sell cheaper dogs – with low quality food that does not fully cover the animals’ special needs at this stage, by not doing vaccinations and worming, by selling the puppies immediately after weaning so no money is spent on feeding them, etc… This has, of course, an impact on the puppy’s current and future health. While he is nursing, the puppy receives antibodies from his mother through her milk, but upon weaning that protection ends and is only recovered by means of adequate vaccination. If the puppy changes family just after wearning, that will occur at a time his defenses are down, so there is an increased risk of catching diseases at his new home, a new environment with potentially hazardous risks that didn’t exist at his birth place. Some diseases acquired at this age are fatal or with life-long consequences!

On the long run, it is also a behavioral risk to acquire a puppy at such an early age. Throughout a puppy’s growth, he goes through several phases of development both physical and psychological. Between 3 and 12 weeks of age, there is the “socialization period”, during which he learns behavioral rules, first with other dogs then with other animals and people. If a puppy leaves his mother and siblings too soon he will not have the opportunity to learn canine communication and etiquette, and therefore has an increased risk of future problems in his relationships with other dogs and people.

A serious breeder will refuse the sale of a puppy before 2-3 months of age. This way he will be able to start an adequate plan of worming and vaccination, trying to ensure that when the puppy leaves he already has the necessary defenses to withstand the “aggressions” of his new environment (but it is crucial that the new owner completes the plan for an adequate protection). This period spent with the breeder will also allow the puppy to acquire the basic elements of social interaction with other dogs and people and begin socializing with several types of situations, which the new owner must continue.

There is more than just the price

If you are reading this text then a priori you have an interest on dogs above the population average and will try your best to be a good owner of the dog you acquire. With basic notions of what it takes to have a dog, or past experience, it is natural that your main concern when you get your dog is its price. But the breeder you contact does not know you! When he is contacted and the only question asked is the price, the idea that gets through is that you are just looking for the cheapest dog you can find, which is quite discouraging when he’s trying to find the best possible home for his dogs.

In any case, there are more issues to consider when acquiring a dog, leaving the purchase price as a secondary factor in the overall balance.

For example, you can (and should!) ask about diseases the breed may have, and what the breeder is doing to try to reduce their incidence. When you buy a puppy whose parents have been tested for the main diseases in the breed, even if that’s not an assurance that the puppy will not suffer from them, at least it gives you a notion of the real risk of being or not affected; a puppy from unscreened parents is always “a shot in the dark”, a lottery in which you don’t know what you are acquiring.

You should ask to see the puppies and the dam (sometimes the father does not belong to the breeder, so he may not be present) and try to assess if the puppies seem to be in good physical and behavioral conditions – with shinny coat, clear eyes, active and playful, etc. If the breeder refuses, beware and enquire; if indeed in very young puppies there may be some health risks in being handled by strangers, after the puppies are properly vaccinated that risk is minimal.

Ask the breeder whatever goes through your mind that may be relevant; a serious breeder will be available to answer and educate potentially interested people. Be prepared for the breeder to ask you questions in return, in order to assess if the breed and a specific individual is a good fit for you. After all, a 70 kg St. Bernard may not be the ideal choice for our frail 70 year-old grandmother; a Pug will certainly not be adequate for the dynamic youngster who likes to jog 20 km everyday with his dog; a digging terrier will not be perfect if you like a spotless garden.

And, very importantly, visit several breeders before making a decision! Talk with them, ask questions and answer questions, make up your mind and decide based on information. Remember the price you will pay for your puppy includes not only its cost on the moment, but also all the support the breeder will provide along the animal’s life.

Do you have puppies available?

This is usually the 2^nd most common question the breeder gets asked, when we get to the 2^nd question. Also for obvious reasons. The person knows he wants to add a 4-legged companion to his life, so he wants to do it as soon as he decides so. However, that is not necessarily the best way!

A breeder doesn’t always have puppies available; he will have them when he thinks he found a combination of parents that will take him one step closer to his goals. If he has several animals, he may be able to manage his bitches in such a way that he will indeed be able to have several litters throughout the year, if he so desires and has an adequate demand. However, if he has few specimens, he will have greater intervals between litters, there will be times when he will not have youngsters available.

If you are interested in a popular breed, there may be enough responsible breeders for you to, with some research, find a breeder you like with available puppies. However, in the case of rarer breeds, with few breeders, odds are you will not find available puppies exactly you decided you want one. In this case, the ideal is enrolling in the breeder’s waiting list, waiting for an available pup. This will give you a greater chance of getting your puppy, especially because many breeders only breed when they have good homes for their puppies already lined up.

Spend this time talking with the breeder, posing all your doubts and questions you can think of and easily and quietly preparing the arrival of your new companion. Use this period also to ponder seriously if this is the right time to acquire a living being that will require constant care and attention for the next 10 or more years. We live in a society of immediate consumption and gratification, in which we buy goods without seriously considering if we need them and what we will do with them in the future. An animal is not a teddy bear or a playstation we can put on a shelf when we get bored with it!

A puppy as a gift?

Christmas is traditionally a time when there is more demand for puppies. There are those who think they are ideal gifts, who want to offer a pet to their spouse, to a relative or even a friend. It is also common that people want to offer a puppy to their child, because he has been nagging for months for one, or because he had good grades at school, or to “teach him responsibility”… However, for a serious breeder, Christmas is one of the most complicated seasons! It’s a time when it is harder to distinguish between good and bad prospective clients. Because offering a puppy as a surprise to someone is usually a very bad idea. Acquiring a living being should be a well pondered act, in which all involved must agree on the decision. Otherwise there is the serious risk that they will not have time or will to properly take care of the animal, loose interest in the “novelty”, etc., which leads to a raise in the relinquishment rate shortly after Christmas.

A classical example is buying a dog so “the child becomes responsible”. In principle that’s all very nice, but what happens when the youngster goes back to school and no longer has time available for the dog? Or when the novelty wears off and the puppy grows and the child looses interest in the dog, as often happens with young children (or teenagers who suddenly find other interests in life)? If the parents did not agree previously that the final responsibility for taking care of the animal is theirs, sooner or later it is probable that he will be relinquished. What responsibility are you then teaching your youngsters? That when you lose interest in them, it’s ok to abandon a living being?

Also from the point of view of the puppy himself, Christmas holidays are not the best to change homes. The dog is already going through the shock of suddenly losing all that was familiar to him and finding himself in a strange environment -at a place where traditionally at this time there is great commotion, with school holidays, family and friends staying over, etc., when what he needs is peace to get adjusted to his new home and develop properly. And when he finally starts getting used to his new life, suddenly it all changes again – holidays are over, children go back to school, adults go back to work and the environment changes again. It is better to wait for the post-holidays period to welcome the puppy, so he has a smooth transition to the normal yearly rhythm of his new family.

If you indeed decide that it is appropriate to offer a puppy for Christmas, if the decision is made responsibly, with everyone involved and the the breeder agreeing on it, instead of subjecting the puppy to this confusing time, why not arrange with the breeder a sort of “welcome package” to whoever will receive the puppy for Christmas, instead of the dog himself, as a preparation to go pick him up later, at a better time?

Adopt, don’t buy?

As Christmas is a time when the acquisition of dogs is traditionally higher, campaigns for the responsible adoption of abandoned animals are also more visible. Frequently their chosen motto is something in the lines of “adopt, don’t buy” or “each dog bough is a pound dog that gets killed”. But isn’t this somewhat of emotional blackmail?

Often, the type of people who seek a purebred at a breeder is different from that who adopts from a shelter. While the later “just” (with any prejudice intended) want a loyal companion, those who seek a purebred often do so because they desire a certain amount of physical and behavioral traits which are easier to find in a purebred than in a mutt, due to the selection exerted which  leads to traits being substantially more predictably in a purebred puppy. (1)

Anyway, even if a bought puppy might potentially mean, on the very short term, that a stray dog is not adopted, on the long run the consequences may be different. When you buy a puppy from a serious breeder, you are simultaneously ensuring a life-long support, the breeder will be available to help the owner whenever and wherever possible, inclusively to retake or rehome the dog if necessary. Therefore the risk of this dog being relinquished later on is seriously reduced. The greater the proportion of dogs bought from responsible breeders, as opposed to from puppy mills or backyard breeders, the smaller the odds they end up in a shelter.

Do your homework!

Some years ago it might have been difficult, for those not in the fancy, to know how to find a breeder for a given breed and what to look for in a puppy. Nowadays, with the major role the internet plays in our lives, with specialized media available to the public, this task is considerably easier. Spend some time researching the breed of your choice (and be objective as to the source of the information!!), visit several breeders and talk with them, even if you’re not planning on getting a dog right now – it is crucial to know if your choice fits your lifestyle and personality, it is important to find a breeder in whom you can trust and feel supported whenever you need to, throughout your dog’s life. Basically, use your common sense and critical judging and don’t fall into the trap of immediate gratification. Having an animal in our life is a great responsibility, he demands time and dedication for many years and will not remain a small cuddly puppy for long. This is probably one of the most important decisions you will make in your life! You will surely want to do it with as much information as possible, right?

And by the way, after you get your puppy, do try to keep a regular contact with the breeder. He leaves a little bit of himself in every puppy he hands over, and would also like to hear from him, to know that he is growing well (or not) and that he and his family are happy!

(1) In Portugal, breed rescues (groups dedicated to rescuing and rehoming dogs of a particular breed or group of breeds) are not yet common

Off-leash walks - Yes… No… Maybe…

(portuguese version below)

Summer holidays are here, along with good weather and long days. With them comes the availability to spend more time in the open air with our family – both 2 and 4 legged. And the temptation to have our canine companion off-leash is naturally great, especially because during the rest of the year, for different reasons, we generally have less time available for him. But should we do it without second thoughts?

Hardly anyone will dispute the fact that dogs need to be let loose. They are social and active animals that need to be able to regularly spend their energy and to be physically and psychologically stimulated. The common hygienic walks, on-leash, quick and in familiar places will hardly be enough to satisfy our companion’s needs. Unlike popular belief, even small sized dogs will not see their exercise needs met by just running around the house; they actually often have proportionally greater needs than larger sized dogs.
When they go smoothly, off-leash walks are an excellent opportunity to reinforce the bond and complicity that exists between the owner and his dog. But there are several opportunities for them to go wrong, and the owner should be aware of them so he may take the necessary precautions.

Common sense… and obedience!
Most risks, unfortunately, come form lack of care… Too often we see off leash dogs, even in confined and/or unknown places, showing clear signs of stress, bumping into objects (namely the ever more present glass doors, which dogs do not immediately apprehend as a barrier as they can see what’s on the other side). A loose dogs has inherently a greater probability to get hurt or cause injury, even if unintentionally. A dog that gets spooked or who is chasing an animal will easily run to the middle of the street, risking getting run over. Or crash into someone, due to being more focused on its prey than on what’s going on around him. An off leash dog should be a trained, obedient dog, with a reliable recall to his owner regardless of the situation, in order to prevent problematic situations. This is necessary not only in open space, but also when the dog is loose on enclosed spaces, like dog parks – they still have other people and dogs that should be minded, so the walk is an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Breed propensity
Some breeds tend to be more attentive to their owner whereas others tend to be more independent. Herding dogs, for example, having been bred to work under the guidance of people, tend to be more responsive to their owner’s desires and to keep near him, while the reverse tends to happen with mountain dogs, more independent and explorer of the surrounding areas. Scent hounds, on the other hand, despite being very attentive to their owner, when they find a scent that attracts them and start following the trail, show a remarkable “selective deafness”. This happens because this activity is for them much more attractive and rewarding than the mere presence of the owner (hard as it may be for some owners to admit it). Of course, there are general trends, and there is ample individual variation within each breed, often even more than among breeds. However, it is a good empirical rule to consider the different breed types and their tendency to behave differently when they are on the loose, for when the owners are implementing strategies to ensure their dog’s obedience in any situation – it is necessary to try to ensure they are their companion’s main focus of interest, more interesting than any other activity.

“He just wants to play!”
You’re on the beach relaxing when, out of the blue, comes a running dog chasing a ball someone threw, skidding right on top of you and giving you a sand bath. As if that wasn’t enough to ruin your good mood, another dog comes out of the sea and vigorously shakes right beside you, literally giving you a cold shower. As much as you like dogs, that will certainly not be one of your favorite moments!
When you’re taking a walk on the park, the situation may become even more complicated. Your dog may actually just want to play, but other people are also entitled to enjoy public space their own way without being bothered. He may even be the nicest coolest dog in the area, but that is no reason to let your 70 kg Saint Bernard run like mad on top of a passer-by asking to be petted, drooling all over him, just because “he only wants to play”. Or to let your Collie  run around people trying to get them together in a single group, nibbling at their heels (herding behavior). Special attention must also be paid in places with bikers, skaters, etc., as most dogs tend to associate them with prey to chase.
If your dog is little or not used to children, watch him carefully in places where kids are playing. Children have a shape and behavior different from adults, and dogs that are not used to them may not understand them as people, but rather as animated toys or prey to chase.

“He won’t bite!”
When a dog is all worked up enjoying his few moments off leash and notices another dog, often his tendency is to run to the other. Almost automatically, often the owner lets him, just saying to the other dog’s owner “it’s ok, my dog won’t bite!” But is it such a simple and innocent situation?
On one hand, the dog may actually not bit in a normal situation, but his owner doesn’t know anything about the other dog, if he is aggressive, scared, etc. Is it wise to expose any of the dogs to a situation of potential risk without proper precautions?
On the other hand, and often because of the social isolation of most urban dogs are subjected to (often by their owner, who will immediately repel any dog trying to approach his own), many dogs don’t know how to politely meet and greet other dogs according to the rules of canine etiquette. In a correct approach, both dogs will come up to each other calmly, with a relaxed demeanor, without staring at each other (they may alternate staring with looking away), will position themselves side by side to smell their anal area (the canine equivalent to the human hand shake) and, if there is no stress, will either continue their way or try to play with each other. When this is approach is not done correctly, there may be problems due to misinterpretation of intentions. For example, it is common, when dogs are excited, that they come running directly towards the other one, stopping right in front of him. As a human equivalent, think about a stranger that sees you at distance and comes running on top of you, stopping only a few centimeters away. Unpleasant, right?
In such a situation, a more confident dog may show signs to try to defuse the situation, like calmly waking away or staying put but smelling the ground (almost certainly the floor is not more interesting than the other dog, but by showing lack of interest the other dog may calm down), lick his lips, etc. If the dog is unsure and/or doesn’t have the possibility of choosing what to do (as when he is on leash), he may eventually show some aggressive sigs (like raising the hackles, showing teeth, growling…), in order to try to prevent the other dog from approaching. The owners may also unintentionally add to the stress of the meeting. For example, by not knowing normal canine behavior, some will try to stop dogs from smelling the anal areas, because they think that behavior is gross. Even more common is the owner getting nervous with the approach of a strange dog and putting pressure on the leash, in an almost reflex behavior of trying to hold their animal better. But the dog will feel that pressure and think that the situation may indeed be a problem, which will lead to an escalation of the real stress. The ideal, in a situation where both dogs are on leash, is to calmly watch the dogs’ body language and keep a loose leash in order to avoid unnecessary tension. When both dogs are off leash the “complicating” human element is removed, and any of the approaching dogs may choose to walk away, but the animals' behavior must still be closely watched. A misinterpretation by one of the dogs or a lack of knowledge of body language (do not forget that many dogs live in a virtually human environment with little to no contact with other dogs since puppyhood) may lead to the occurrence of conflicts. But when one of the dogs if off leash and the other is on leash, there may be the problem of ever-excitement of the loose dog associated with the tension perceived by the owner and the leashed dog, who has no possibility of walking away if he so desired; if the fearful dog does not have the possibility of flight, fight remains… The owner of the off leash dog thus has the increased responsibility to ensure his animal does not derange the other dog.

Ask first… and watch
A simple way to do it is to keep your dog close to you and ask first to the owner of the other dog if they can greet each other. Should the owner refuse (he may have a fearful dog, an aggressive dog, a frail one, a dog undergoing some kind of treatment, etc.), respect his wishes and carry on with your walk. If he accepts, watch the dogs’ interaction. Watch the way they approach and if your dog starts getting too worked up, call him back, allow only calm approaches, in order to avoid misinterpretations and risks. After the first introduction, should both dogs want to play for a bit, don’t lower your guard. Although when playing dogs normally use several signs showing that what they are doing should not be taken seriously, in order to keep their companion relaxed, different dogs may have different play styles – some like rough games, others prefer calmer playing… Special attention should be given when dogs of different sizes are playing, as the bigger dog may accidentally injure the smaller one. That is actually the main reason for the recommendation for two separate enclosures in dog parks, so animals of different sizes may interact safely with dogs their own size.

Respect to be respected
As much as you may want to always have your well behaved dog off leash (and regardless of the legality or not of the situation), bear in mind that some people are afraid of dogs or, even if they do not fear them, do not particularly enjoy having dogs around. Many people don’t know who to correctly interpret dog body language and may feel threatened by the approach of a strange dog. Remember that in most public spaces dogs should be kept on leash and they are refused access to a number of them. Despite our traditional tolerance to certain of these freedoms, it is necessary to respect others! Learn to interpret canine body language, keep your dog on leash or near you when you’re around other people, do not let him approach other people or dogs without proper permission and never forget to pick up after your dog, even if he is off leash. If we all respect the basic rules of common sense, respect and healthy sociability, we may gradually start to change people’s mentalities and gain legal access of dogs to increasingly more public areas.

People meeting dogs / Dogs meeting people

(Versão portuguesa abaixo)

The first dog I had from puppyhood, Nikko, was afraid of people. And he was lucky enough (or unlucky enough, form his point of view) to be very appealing, with his scruffy look. When I took him out for walks, if we were lucky enough for people to ask me if they could pet him (because most wouldn’t even bother to ask, they’d just do it), I’d tell them no, and explain them that he didn’t like it so I didn’t want to force him into an unpleasant situation. My mother, meaning well, would say yes, go ahead, and if necessary would pick the puppy up so people could pet him better. Which, of course, would only make matters worse, as he was left without the possibility to choose what t do and eventually walk away. 

If it was you, would you like it?

Just imagine… You’re calmly enjoying your walk, contemplating the views, watching passers-by when out of the blue comes a stranger to you, holds you, gives you a tight hug ad a long-time friend, pokes you all over and walks away. Confused? A bit up ahead, another person comes by, picks you up, smooches you all with kisses and baby talks at you and goes away. What the hell? Shortly thereafter these situations repeat. When will you run out of patience? In my personal case, I can say I’d quickly become a hazard to people’s physical integrity… ;)
Surreal? Without a doubt! Yet this is a reality for countless dogs on their walks – to be frequently intercepted by people who want to touch them, while they are expected not to have any negative reaction!

A dog on the street is a good dog?
When you see a child on the street, do you immediately assume he is well behaved? However, when they see a dog on the street, most people assume the dog will tolerate anything that comes their way. And indeed most dogs do know how to behave in public. But what about those that don’t? Oh, those their owners leave at home! What does that solve? A dog permanently locked up at home will never learn to behave on a human society. It is necessary that the dog comes outside, calmly and controlled, to lear the rules he is expected to follow. And for that it is necessary that the owner is willing to teach them, with or without professional help depending on the situation, and that other people respect the dog’s space and his need of learning.

Ask first
As soon as they see a dog on the street, most people, and specially children, will immediately go to him and start touching him. However, get used, and teach you children, to ask the owner for permission first. It is so simples and so much safer! And it is a sign of respect for the owner and the dog. And respect what the owner tells you, whether you agree or not! I remember that in the rare occasions people asked my if they could pet Nikko and I told them no, explaining why, the typical reply was “oh, but he is so cute, of course he can’t be afraid of people!” What does being cute has to do with being afraid of people? In principle, the owner knows his dog better than anyone and is the best person (except in some situations a specialized professional) to assess how the dog will react in different situations. Indeed it is often because people will disregard the owner’s statement that leads some owners to systematically refuse any contact between their dog and other people, creating a vicious cycle in which the dog may even start to be (even more) afraid of people.
But don’t fall on the opposite extreme either! It is so common to hear parent to say to their children approaching a strange dog “Don’t touch the dog, he bites!” Why make children afraid of dogs? If you don’t want your child to touch the dog, would it be more sensible to explain him why they shouldn’t touch strange dogs and teach him to ask the owner for permission first?

Watch the dog
Even if the owner allows you to touch his dog, watch carefully if the dog really wants that contact. Many people accept strangers to pet their dog not because the animal likes it or because the owner really doesn’t mind, but because socially it “looks bad” if they refuse it. And forcing a shy or fearful dog to contact may worsen his fears and lead to situation which may endanger the person’s and/or animal’s physical integrity.
But is you watch the dog’s behavior, he will usually show a number of signs indicating if he is comfortable or not with the situation. Some stress signs (or calming signs, as they are more often called) are subtle and may go unnoticed for those who don’t know them – like the pulling back of the lips, or pupil’s dilatation, which is a physiological fear response and can be a preparation for a “flight or fight” response. Other signs are not so subtle but many people do not know how to interpret them correctly. Like the dog that turns the head sideways avoiding facing the person approaching him, he is not doing it because he saw something more interesting elsewhere. Or the dog that starts yawning or licking his lips or nose, after all he hasn’t just eaten something delicious and a walk is not a time to be sleepy. But some signs are obvious – the unsure dog that approaches slowly and crouching, the dog that steps away from the person or hides behind or between his owner’s legs is clearly saying he is not comfortable with the situation. All this, of course, without the extremes of growling or snapping (a bite in the air, discouraging further approach). In this situation, why force? And run the risk of making this a very complicated situation to everyone involved?

How to approach a dog?
Ok, so you asked the owner for permission to pet his dog and the animal doesn’t seem uncomfortable with the situation. Despite that, it may not be the best idea to reach out to the dog, give him a big hug and a huge kiss on the face! Generally, dogs don’t like being hugged, even by people they know well. Actually, all it takes is to think that not only this gesture does not exist among dogs but also it takes away their choice to move away if they want. Even if dogs with a strong bond among themselves sometimes like to be in tight physical contact, usually the most similar to a hug dogs have is during hierarchy rituals or fights. It is thus easy to figure that this gesture has a totally different meaning in dogs and humans.
What to do then? Do not approach the dog straight forward, which is intimidatory for the animal. Avoid looking him straight in the eyes (do you like it when a stranger does that to you?), specially in the first moments until the dog is relaxed. Crouch down beside him, thus becoming more accessible while following canine protocol – unlike people, dogs great side by side, not straight forward. Let the dog decide to come to you. This is very important, as it allows the dog to decide if he is comfortable with the situation. You may even drop a hand, so he can sniff it. He may approach you and stay there sniffing, he may come, sniff and move away… respect his decision and do now go after him if he leaves.

Where to touch?
If the dog seems to be comfortable and seeks contact, usually the next step is people trying to pet him. This also often requires some self-control. Avoid sudden movements, which may scare the dog. People tend to go for the head, but most dogs don’t particularly like being petted there. Ask the owner if the dog has a preferred spot and/or try the cheeks behind the lips, behind the ears, the chest, shoulders, in the back near the tail… It is important that you do it gently, always watching the dog, and stop if the dog starts to show signs of discomfort or stress.

In short…
In order for everyone (people and dogs) to enjoy the sunny days approaching, all it takes is some mutual respect and common-sense. Most dogs like to interact with people, but unlike many seem to think, not all dogs are comfortable in that situation. All it takes is some common-sense from the owners and other people for walks to turn into a pleasant experience for everyone involved, and not a nightmare for the dog and the owner.